So I write this here because most likely I’m the only one who will ever read this… I’ve had a fake smile a fake life for the past two months try to show the world a Luis that’s not really me… I fucked up everything I shoulda listened to my conscience but instead let my body do what it wanted… No I haven’t fucked no I haven’t done shit that will screw me over even more… But I’ve drank I’ve smoked just to forget my pain I’m flirting with girls to forget her to find a way to get her out but what ends up happening? I see her when I see them I hear her voice when they speak but no matter what happens it isn’t her… I thought that maybe a kiss would change my point of view but instead it made me realize that a kiss is just two lips meeting nothing more… What I had were butterflies beautiful emotions sensations with disbelief and love without limits… But now I have nothing… I have memories… Empty spaces in my heart that can’t be filled and emotions without a control and… And an empty soul… I’m not Luis… I’m not him and I won’t be him because he’s were he belongs… He’s the angel who promised to always look out for her that said that no matter the cause he’d protect her… My body is here but my heart and soul is with her… Two weeks before the day… I dont think I can do this… Amazing what happens in a year….
P.s: what you told me 3 months ago is that still there is the day still there and is my heart still with you?
What ruined my life… -_-
None of them were ever true… I’ve never moved on and ive never forgotten you…
When I see you I get a pain in my chest as though my heart begins to cry…
Everytime I see him I get a pain in my fist and I don’t kno why…
I try and I try to get you out of my mind but the harder I try the more I die…
-Luis A. Diaz
I wanna scream I wanna break something I wanna take someone out! I’m not mad I’m disappointed… I gave you my trust I gave you my heart… I’m not gonna lie this is the first time that I’m disappointed in you… Not because of what u physically did but of what u mentally did… I felt horrible for making you feel bad that one night and let tears out sunday praying that I’d never hurt you again that I would go back to being the Luis I wanna be and always protect you from harm… And not be this person I am right now… But now I just feel as though my world came crashing down… You lied and again I hurt you… I said what i wanted to tell that SOB and well I hurt you through that… I’m not gonna say “oh fuck you! You werent worth my tears my endless nights of no sleep and those constant struggles to not txt you” cause that’s not what I believe… I love you and well it was me who did all that I’m the one that decided that and I’m the one who’s in this pain…
I’m done with blaming others…
Hope he never hurts you and hope you end up loving him…
